since young, i have not been an expressive person nor someone who is good at my words.. I couldn't express my tots and how I felt.. therefore I rather keep it to myself..
Tonight, the moment u raised your voice, I decided not to heave a word.. not that I don't feel anything nor nothing was running though my mind. but rather, I was too painful to talk.
I was wrong I don't deny.. I shouldn't be doubting nor I should questioned.. I know we love each other and I shouldn't be feeling this way.. it's just that I am afraid of losing someone I really love another time..
I was paranoid.. I was defeated once before.. and was afraid of defeating another time as this phase was one of the most painful time I has been through 3 years back.. I took quite long to recover and trust love again.. till I met u, I thank u for entering in to my life, making my everyday something I look forward to.. and this feeling is something I really adore..
We face challenges previously and I decided to give us a chance again.. we went better than the previous months.. I tot we were more stable.. till I saw the mail.. I went weak.. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I saw things that I am not suppose to see where things I saw wasn't concrete and was all my assumption. I am sorry for thinking too much..
I know u nv cheat on me.. but I dunno why am I reacting this way.. I felt insecure Co's I do not have the assets ppl have.. I ain't gentle.. I ain't pretty. any other girls out there seems to be better than me.. I do not have the looks to offer u.. nor have a very pleasant character like other girls.. but I know what I can offer u is the genuine love for u.. I can do anything for u within my means without asking anything back in return.u mean a lot to me.. till I think I over reacted when something went out of the norm..
I look forward to our future.. and can feel that it is getting nearer.. I wish we could be strong enough to walk towards there.. all I need was more courage..
I think it's too much to ask and probably u felt this was already the upmost u have given to me.. all I wish was some patience and assurance in return which I know u have given me..
Baby, I won't heave a word anymore nor touch your phone on personal things.. I shouldn't be doing that and I don't wanna do it anymore.. I am sorry that I have hurt u.. Rest assure.. I will not do it again nor ask about it.. I don't wanna be a pain in the ass nor wanna hurt this relationship.. I will trust u and shall not ponder upon this after this entry..
Hope u accept my apology and forgive me for what had happened.. I am sorry..
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