hey blog, am back in less than 12 hours to confide in u again.. why do I always use the wrong words when trying to express my tots. I felt that was merely a comment. but was said to be rude In return..
Felt sucky.. and in order not to be a nuisance.. I decided to talk to u. felt like I am having some speaking disorder or some speaking sickness which no medicine to cure me haha.. beyond cure liaox..
Sometimes I felt.. why must I climb upwards.. now I wish to be a normal staff.. where I can hack care as and when I like.. suddenly I felt tired of work.. and I felt like giving up.. I Dont have the quality to be a boss.. nor I felt I do not have what it takes.. at the basic.. using the right words..
I think I have been nice enuff to take care of my ppl. and I know I have done my part in taking care of them.. I tried.. but I think ppl always take me for granted..
a lot of ppl know my weak point.. am too soft hearted.. and I ask a lot for a sense of assurance.. can be a nuisance.. and ppl tend to lose temper on me when I ask again.. Especially when this person is someone u care.. it hurts terribly..
I love to talk.. or hearing someone talking to me.. but now.. I think I have to selectively talk.. it's so un-me.. when pen-ing this down.. I felt a gush of ache came through my veins..
I am sensitive how ppl feel and would always tell ppl I am alright with a smile and a tear in the heart even if I am hurt...but coming back am I really alright? I always wonder.. why do I always have to think of how someone felt and make someone else feel better when I felt sucky..
I hate lying to myself that tomorrow will be fine by not thinking about this.. In the past I am like that.. 26 years liaox I am still like that.
Hope things change. hope I change too.. Should I be hard hearted and not care what others think.. I should love myself more and not hurt myself..
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