Yeah.. I should take a step back now and mentioned lesser for things like marriage and housing etc. this are the things that I shouldn't be asking or much worried about..
didn't expect such happy things eventually turned out sour.. and what I tried to explain, probably it's a bad example. some thoughts are really hard to explain.. the more you explain, the more complicated it gets somehow..
Ya.. this shouldn't have a fix date then there will be no elelment of surprise, agree w u on this.. probably initially we shouldn't really be discussing on when is it.. then there won't be arguments on anticipation or looking forward.. stupid me, for counting down this kind of things and felt happier as the days get lesser.. but the happier me has to come to an end today.. cos I should not be knowing when is it.. anyway what will come will eventually be here.. Just 顺其自然吧！
quarrelling over happy matters like wedding package, proposal and house makes me seeing the future getting thinner each time.. it's meant to be happy but it turn out sour each time. make me 心灰意冷 as time passes after each suppose to be happy but end up sour quarrels and arguments.
I didn't wanna argue back cos eventually I have never so called 'won' in an argument. so eventually I will chose to keep quiet.. by bottling up what I feel makes me more reserved. I remained calm after each argument but what I got was a cold treatment after I tried explaining. cold treatment makes one 退后。Seem to blog more recently u might realise, by those words in my heart that I couldn't confide. Co's u don't understand what I wanna say or how I feel. when I speak, how I feel, most of the time, i will end up not explaining.
probably it's my problem also that I always used the wrong examples and words.. I dunno. actually I was OK yesterday.. but what happen earlier on, makes me really upset though..
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